


When You Leave

by blazingalternative



Category: Ouran High School Host Club - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Don't Judge Me, Don't Like Don't Read, For kaoru, He thinks hikaru will leave him for haruhi, Hitachiincest, How Do I Tag, Insecurity, Jealousy, Kaoru centric, Loneliness, M/M, Misunderstandings, Self-Esteem Issues, but like lowkey, fear of being alone
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-02
Updated: 2019-10-02
Packaged: 2020-11-15 04:37:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,197
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20860364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blazingalternative/pseuds/blazingalternative
Summary: Kaoru spends the whole day trying to get used to the fact that his twin will eventually leave him behind.The next day Hikaru tries to figure out what's wrong with his brother.(This can be read as a ship between the twins because no lie that's how I wrote it, but I think it passes as platonic if you just want the angst.)





	When You Leave

**Author's Note:**

> You know that feeling where you just know you'll end up alone because everyone you love will eventually grow and become better without you? That's me as I wrote this.

"Haruhi!" A single Hitachiin twin walks up behind her and without a second thought she turns to greet him. "Hey Kaoru.." quickly her smile morphs into a look of confusion as she scans the area. "Where's Hikaru?" 

Kaoru gives her a small smile, still so grateful for how easy she finds it to tell them apart. "He actually woke up sick today." Kaoru begins as he relaxes his stance something he frequently forgets to do with Hikaru gone. 

"It's surprising really.. I mean we were both out in the rain last night, but I feel completely fine.." Kaoru's eyes drift off as he remembers the way Hikaru begged for him to stay home with him, and normally he would have.

But they have a huge test today, and the very least he can do is remember the answers that way he can help Hikaru study. At least that was the excuse Kaoru gave his brother. 

In reality Kaoru wanted to see if he could survive without Hikaru. He wanted to put himself to the test. Preparing for the day when Hikaru finally decides to leave him. 

Yes, unfortunately that's all he's been able to think about since he was involuntarily trapped with their class representative for their Halloween event. 

"Don't worry Kaoru I'm sure he'll be fine in no time" Haruhi pulls him out of his revire, and when he finally looks up to meet her eyes she's giving him a worried look. 

He wonders if she knows. If she's aware of the spell they're all under. She's so smart she must know, she has to know! Someone does! Someone other than him.

"Kaoru?" She questions and he flinches realizing he's been staring for too long. "Sorry, I guess I zoned out" he tries his best to give her a sheepish smile. The way Hikaru does when she catches him doing something he's not supposed to do, but he can feel his come out a lot more strained.

"Are you alright?" She asks now definitely concerned for the younger twin. "I'm fine Haruhi I promise it's just because it's weird not having Hikaru around." He throws out more excuses although this one isn't a total lie. 

"To be perfectly honest with you I was sure you would stay home with him if he really couldn't leave the house." Brutally honest and all too observant just like always. Kaoru smiles genuinely at her this time before letting out a short chuckle.

"And get myself sick too? No way!" 

~

"Well the twin act can't very well work with only one twin now can it?" Kyoya and Tamaki go on trying to solve this whole no Hikaru crisis, and Kaoru can't help but feel his brother would be touched they all need him here so badly. 

"You know I can always just spend time with anyone who's made an appointment today... I don't mind as long as they don't either." Kaoru offers up his input, and with a look of consideration Tamaki mulls it over. 

"Well I suppose we can make today a limited addition get to know Kaoru day!" He screams in excitement and Kyoya nods agreeing easily. "Our guests will like the idea of knowing how the twins act without each other present." 

"Then it's settled!" With that Kaoru finds himself anxiously waiting for his first guest. What would he even say? Usually when they're together we just follows Hikaru's lead but now he's alone. 

His heart throbs painfully in his chest as he's reminded that one day this is will be the rest of his life. He will be making all his own decisions, and his right side will remain empty and cold. 

"Hi Kaoru!" A short girl approaches him, he does his best to smile warmly. "Wow I can't believe it really is just you today," she sounds astonished. He can only chuckle as she takes a seat.

"Hard to believe I can even exist without Hikaru isn't it?" He smiles and although the girl takes his words in a joking manner he frowns at himself for how true he believes them to be.

~

"You know Kaoru you're actually really quiet when you're by yourself." Kyoya notes as he continues to type away on his laptop. "You think so?" Kaoru responds as he sits leaning back on his chair staring out of the window. "Yes, in fact I was sure you and Hikaru were both as boisterous and loud apart as you are together." 

Kaoru takes a breath ready to protest on his brothers behalf before Kyoya continues, "At least I did until this summer" at this Kaoru turns to face Kyoya who still hasn't looked up from the bright screen. He knows exactly what he's referring to because he can still remember spilling a fraction of his thoughts to the others for Hikaru's sake. For his date with Haruhi.

"Now I suppose it's perfectly normal and even expected for you to be much more contemplative than your brother." 

Kaoru's palms grow sweaty as he lets the implications of Kyoya's words sink in. He thinks they're different. Kyoya thinks Hikaru and Kaoru are different. Kaoru feels dizzy and it dawns on him that if anyone were to see the carriage for what it really is, it's his forever calculating Kyoya-senpai. 

"You see it too don't you?" Kaoru's voice is a meek whisper, but Kyoya catches it all the same. "See what Kaoru?" Finally he looks up adjusting his glasses and fixing his gaze on the troubled twin. 

"The spell" Kaoru simply states unsure of how to even bring up the subject. "Spell?" Kyoya, confused, and more intrigued than before closes his laptop giving Kaoru his full undivided attention. 

"The one Tamaki-senpai has placed on all of us... the one keeping everyone from seeing what's really going to happen." Kaoru's words are gentle like he's afraid to speak out. A look of recognition flashes across Kyoya's eyes and Kaoru knows he's caught on.

"You're referring to the situation with Haruhi aren't you?" Kyoya bluntly states and Kaoru nods, feeling much more confident knowing the others can't hear a word they're saying. Too caught up in their own worlds.

"I think everyone can see it Kaoru." Kyoya continues and this causes Kaoru to shake his head, "Not Tamaki... or Hikaru... or even Haruhi." His eyes focus on the way Tamaki continues to dote over Haruhi as she tries to dismiss him. The way they both can't see what's so clearly coming toward them.

"Yes well, I suppose only those who have already broke the spell can see what's really happening." Kyoya tries to phrase it in terms Kaoru can understand, and of course Kaoru does. "Are you saying we're only pretending to be cursed now?" 

They face each other again and Kyoya nods. "Why else would we be able to see what those three are doing?" He explains, Kaoru supposes he can't argue with something like that. Why else would he be able to see?

"I wish I hadn't broken it," he mumbles his eyes falling to trace the outlines of the table. "Why's that?" Kyoya asks although he's sure he already knows the answer. "Because now I'm stuck waiting and watching until the day Hikaru breaks it too and leaves me behind." 

Kyoya was right, he did already know. It seems as though no matter how much more Kaoru knows compared to his brother. Kaoru will never be able to move any further. He wants to stay where he is with everything remaining the same. Hikaru is ignorant, but he's still running compared to his brothers pace. He can't even see what's happening much less what is to come, and so he has no reason to slow down.

~Next Day~

"Hey! Haruhi!" She turns to be greeted by the familiar sight of the twins walking side by side. However, she notices Kaoru's slightly bowed head and the dull look in his eyes as he walks alongside his brother. 

"Glad to see you're doing better Hikaru" she greets. Hikaru's smile spreads wildly his eyes closing into half-moons. "Yea it was so boring being home alone, without even my dear brother by my side." 

He pouts over at Kaoru, but Kaoru seems to be elsewhere his eyes glazed over. Hikaru's pout only deepens realizing his brother is still in that same stupor his been in since he got home yesterday. 

"What's with Kaoru?" Haruhi question's quickly catching on to the younger twins absence. "I'm not sure, he's been like this for a while, and no matter what I do I can only get him to pay attention to me for a minute or so." 

"Really? He seemed fine yesterday." She scans the blank expression on Kaoru's face and Hikaru sighs deeply. "Are you sure nothing happened to him yesterday?" He asks her desperate for answers that will get him his brother back. 

"Well I didn't spend all day with him, but when we were in class he seemed fine..." Hikaru's desperation only grew with Haruhi's words. "Although now that I think about it he was flinching a lot yesterday." 

"Flinching?" Hikaru raises a brow at her and she nods. "Yea like he was remembering something painful." they both turn to look at Kaoru as their worry multiplies, and to their surprise Kaoru turns back to them. "Oh Haruhi, hey, sorry did I zone out again?" 

Hikaru nods and Kaoru scratches the back of his neck, his sheepish smile coming across a lot more clearly now that Hikaru is here. "Sorry," he simply repeats before suggesting they all get to class. The two followed his lead albeit a bit skeptically.

~

"Yea and we can-" Tamaki's words blur out as Kaoru scans the room. Hikaru is glancing periodically at Haruhi as they all stand around and listen to their bosses brand new plan to go sight seeing in some place or the other. 

He might've missed the name... Honey-senpai shouts something that sounds joyful, and everyone quickly agrees with what he says unaware or maybe just unaffected by Kaoru's silence. He tries to focus as Kyoya says something about splitting up in teams to find it quicker.

Find what quicker? Maybe they weren't talking about sight seeing? Immediately everyone agrees with Kyoya, and as expected Honey and Morí-senpai are immediately paired, but before Hikaru can reach out for his twin Kyoya speaks up, "Kaoru and I will take the east section." At this Kaoru snaps fully back in. 

He stands confused staring at Kyoya unsure of what he's doing. "What?" Hikaru bites obviously feeling territorial over his other half. "You heard what I said," Kyoya follows up without missing a beat. Haruhi is eyeing Kaoru with a suspicious look in her eyes.

"It's alright Hikaru, this way you can spend more time with Haruhi," he smiles and hopes it shows no traces of pain. After all Hikaru growing closer to someone as grounded and kind as Haruhi can only be good for him. 

"Kaoru" Hikaru pleads unaware as to why his brother doesn't mind leaving his side. "Don't worry, I'm sure this won't take long." He reassures Hikaru with a hand on his shoulder before walking over to Kyoya's side. 

With that Tamaki declares he will be going with Haruhi as well if only to keep her "safe" form Hikaru. To which Hikaru does not protest his mind to preoccupied with thoughts of being apart from Kauro for an entire afternoon.

~

"So why'd you volunteer to go with me?" Kaoru still unsure of what to look for scans the surrounding area for anything that stands out. "Do you even know what we're supposed to be looking for?" Kyoya arches a brow at him skeptically.

Instead of answering Kaoru sighs deeply as he crosses his arms. "I couldn't focus," he mutters. Kyoya hums in response before fixing the position of his glasses at the bridge of his nose, "I'm assuming you're bothered about what we spoke of yesterday." 

It wasn't a question, just another observation, so Kaoru nods before taking a seat in a grass clearing between all the trees tgat inhabit the east section of the school yards. "Don't let it bother you so much Kaoru; I'm sure soon enough they'll realize what's happening and everything will get sorted out." 

Kyoya tries to cheer up the sulking twin, but only manages to bring him down further. "That's what I'm worried about." With that Kyoya takes a seat next to him allowing a few moments of silence to pass. When Kaoru can't find the strength to keep his own head up Kyoya allows Kaoru's head to lay on his shoulder. Kyoya then reaches to pet him lightly as a form of comfort. 

Seething Hikaru watches as his other half leans carelessly on Kyoya. Since when are those two so close? He thinks bitterly from behind a giant rose bush. Luckily or unfortunately the boss decided to search the maze which is conveniently right next to the area Kaoru and Kyoya senpai have volunteered for. 

"How could Kaoru just agree to leave me for Kyoya senpai?" Hikaru grumbles to himself before a familiar voice pulls him from his stupor. "What are you looking at Hikaru?" Tamaki approaches him leaning over his shoulder to peek around the rose bush with him.

As he spots Kaoru peacefully resting on Kyoya's shoulder he looks down at Hikaru. To say he looks mad would be an understatement. "H-He must've been really tired today huh Hikaru?" Tamaki tries his best to down play the situation in order to bring Hikaru back to his senses.

Truth is Tamaki has never seen Kaoru let his guard down with anyone like that who isn't Hikaru. He can only imagine what that must make Hikaru feel. "Don't know since he hasn't had a real conversation with me all day" 

Hikaru grits before roughly standing up and stomping away to where Haruhi is searching underneath flowers for that stupid charm bracelet that what's her face just has to have in order to be happy because her true love gave it to her before transferring schools.

"He zones out on everything I say and when Kyoya offers to literally separate us he shrugs it off like it's no big deal!" Frustrated Hikaru begins to roughly shove the flowers around in hopes to find that stupid bracelet that started this entire mess in the first place.

"Sure on any other day I couldn't have cared less if he went off with one of the other members, but today it's like I don't even exist to him! All he does is stare at me when I talk like he can't understand a single thing I'm saying!" 

He's now managed to rip several flowers from the ground and only stops when he feels Tamaki place a hand on his shoulder. "Have you tried asking him what's wrong?" His voice is soft and works to soothe Hikaru further. 

"No... I was hoping to get time alone with him while we were all looking so he could be honest with me, but then Kyoya senpai..." Hikaru's face scrunches up in annoyance and Tamaki gives his shoulder a squeeze as a reminder to keep his cool. 

"I'm sure Kyoya meant no harm. Here why don't we head over there and switch partners so you can talk to him?" Tamaki's suggestion manages to appease Hikaru as he enthusiastically nods. Haruhi helps him up form the mess of dirt before they make their way over to Kyoya and Kaoru.

It's when they get closer that they realize Kaoru is no longer resting and instead he's talking to Kyoya his face at an unreasonably close distance from the other. Hikaru stops dead in his tracks as a million thoughts race through his head all of them centered around one. 

"Are they about to kiss?" 

He voices aloud causing both Haruhi and Tamaki to freeze and gawk at Hikaru's words. But before either one can deny or confirm his suspicions Hikaru is already running full speed towards Kyoya. "Hikaru stop!" Tamaki calls out but it's too late.

In seconds flat Hikaru is tackling Kyoya onto the ground, and away from his precious little brother. "Hikaru!" Kaoru gasps in surprise as Hikaru straddles Kyoya down lifting his fist ready to land a punch on the man who moments ago had his hands in his brothers hair.

Just thinking about anyone touching Kaoru that way makes him see red, and now he can't stop images of what he had indeed seen flash before his eyes. Why were they so close! Why won't Kaoru talk to him! Why was Kyoya touching something that isn't his!

Before Hikaru can process the stream of possessiveness that now flows through him someone is grabbing onto his forearm pulling him off of Kyoya before he can do any real damage. Everything is fuzzy with anger, and Hikaru can't stop flailing as he tries to throw another punch.

The smell of one of his mothers original scented oils reached his nose. Peaches and vanilla; Kaoru's favorite. That's when he registers it was Kaoru who pulled him off and away from Kyoya. 

Instinctually Hikaru turns around his arms circling around his brothers torso as he traps Kaoru in a tight embrace. "What were you doing? What were you two doing?" He repeats and Kaoru stiffens. "Hikaru what are you-"

"Why was he so close to you?" Hikaru mutters against his chest and Kaoru remains frozen. What is his brother talking about? "Hikaru we were just talking why did you-" once again Kaoru is interrupted by his bother shaking his head and then raising it up to look him in the eyes.

He abruptly takes hold of Kaoru's cheeks gently between his palms to maintain the eye contact. "Why was he so close to you?" Hikaru's voice shakes as he lets out an unsteady breath. "Hikaru I don't understand why you're so upset. " It's all Kaoru can get out because that's all he's thinking about.

Wuth a frantic look in his eyes Hikaru searches Kaoru for answers while Kaoru's mind scrambles to fix whatever it is that he did wrong. Then his mouth starts moving without him fully realizing it. "Why were you trying to punch Kyoya? Where did you even come from!? He was trying to get leaves out of my hair and then you tackled him!?" 

"Wait... he was doing what?" Hikaru stiffens as he realizes that there is in fact a ton of leaves stuck in Kaoru's hair. "I fell asleep and ended up rolling off his shoulder, so we were trying to get all these leaves out of my hair!" Kaoru is now the only one screaming and Hikaru starts to laugh.

And he doesn't stop laughing, an immeasurable amount of relief floods his system in learning that Kyoya was indeed not trying to kiss his brother. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry" he manages between chortles of laughter. 

Kyoya, Tamaki, and Haruhi all stare at Kaoru in confusion, asking a million silent questions as they watch his twins eyes well up with tears because of how much he's laughing. All Kaoru can do is stare at them just as confused.

**Author's Note:**

> Haaaaa I never proof read this.


End file.
